Updating the Scorecard

I mentioned earlier that I was undertaking a number of tasks during my extended vacation. In summary and in no special order, those tasks are;

• Improve my Japanese
• Spend more time with the bullfrog
• Improve my guitar
• Grow a beard
• Write more

So, I think it might be worthwhile to quickly recap my progress on these matters.

Improve my Japanese

I am having weekly lessons, but progress is slow. I can now provide detailed directions from my living-room to my toilet in Japanese, but surprisingly this has not proven of much practical benefit in every day life. I can also point to something and state categorically that it is not a rabbit. Once again, not a lot of day-to-day value.

It did occur to me that it would be of practical value to learn the names of playground equipment in Japanese. Hence I can say with confidence that a slide is a suberidai (滑り台) and that swings are buranko (ブランコ - appears to be derived from Portuguese). Unfortunately the occasions when I have use for these words, namely those occasions when I take the bullfrog to a park, result in fumbled Japanese from me and annoyed English responses from the bullfrog.

The bullfrog has determined, with some accuracy I might add, that Japanese is not a language that I am comfortable with and therefore refuses to use it with me. The bullfrog and the chikenz on the other hand, happily skip between languages, even mid-sentence. This results in converations like this;

Chikenz: "Oh look, there are swings!"

Bullfrog: "Suberidai mo!" (There's a slide too!)

Chikenz: "Dochi ga ii?" (which one do you like?)

Bullfrog "I like suberidai and swings! Tanoshii!" (I like swings and slides! They're fun!) 

The conversations continue thus, punctuated only by the slightly patronising translations occasionally provided by the bullfrog.

Nonetheless, I have been practicing and listening to Japanese as much as I can. My favourite phrase is now

urusen dayo! kono yaro...

Which means roughly "He's a fckn loudmouth, this clown." I learned the phrase from the movie Outrage, which I recommend to you all.

So, out of 10 in this category, I give myself 4 points.

Spend more time with the bullfrog

This has been an outstanding success. Notwithstanding the bullfrogs annoyance whenever I try to speak Japanese, she now considers me an integral part of her day to day life. This contrasts sharply with the situation a few months ago, when she considered me a slightly smelly intruder who was apt to tickle her at any moment.

I am in the habit of dropping the bullfrog at hoikuen (a kind of daycare) each morning and putting her to bed each night. Bedtime is especially entertaining as the bullfrog is very determined that we should follow the same routine every night. The routine goes like this;

1. Announce that bedtime is imminent.
2. Announce that it is now bedtime (a period of time must pass between steps 1 and 2. Two or three minutes is a minimum, Five minutes is preferred. More than ten minutes means you have to start all over again.)
3. Collect items that are required for bed. These usually include at least two of; giant monkey, working bear, Elsa, This one, Dr Yellow and Little Teddy. I note, without explanation, that Giant Monkey and Little Bear are exactly the same size.
4. Observe that mummy is sad. If mummy is not sufficiently sad, instruct her to be sad.
5. Alleviate her sadness by kissing Mummy goodnight.
6. Request that Daddy state that he has lost his glasses.
7. Upon Daddy's compliance with step 6, identify the location of the glasses.
8. Be carried to bed.
9. Request a drink of water to be placed by the bedside. Nominate a specific glass/cup for the water.
10. Select a book for daddy to read. Confirm that the book is in English. In the event that the book is in Japanese, replace the book and select another.
11. Listen to book reading.
12. Request the adjustment of blankets
13. After the book reading is finished, request a story. Daddy makes these up entirely (see here).
14. Request the adjustment of blanket.
15. After the story, request a song. This will usually be specified as incey wincey spider.
16. Say good night to Daddy. 
17. Exclaim loudly that Daddy has forgotten to take his glasses.
18. Receive kiss goodnight from daddy, request additional kisses for required items (see point 3).

It all sounds like a lot, but in fact takes about 30 minutes.

During the day, there are other routines. Sometimes we have stories aided by various props. The favourite seems to be the one where Daddy and the bullfrog go to the park and are accosted by a Giant Monkey along the way. Fortunately Queen Elsa is never far off and comes to rescue Daddy and the bullfrog. The rescue involves Queen Elsa saying "No!" in a stern voice to the Giant Monkey.

All in all, I think this category has been a success. I'm giving myself 10 points here.

Improve my guitar playing

The advantage that I have here is that I am coming off a very low base. Unfortunately I must report that were I to recommence this particular endeavour, I could once again take comfort in the fact that I am coming off a very low base.

I cannot even say that the bullfrog, perhaps the most sympathetic of audiences, is particularly enchanted by my strumming. Still and all, my efforts have resulted in the bullfrog expressing a wish for her own guitar. Probably in order that she can demonstrate to me how it is done.

I have practiced though. Just that I haven't actually improved. I consider this category a failure, but a failure with effort. I'll award 3 points for effort, giving me a total of, errm, 3 points.

Grow a beard

A wild success. Emphasis on wild. My beard is full and luxurious. It started as a goatee and gradually became the full monty. 

Unfortunately my joy at the new addition is not shared by the chikenz. I am confident that once the beard is long enough to plait, she will feel differently, but for now, the overwhelming emotion is one of disdain. The bullfrog appears ambivalent. Still, one must number one's successes.

Deducting a point here due to the chikenz's derision and giving myself 9 points.

Write more

Well this is a tricky one. I am certainly not writing any less. The blog is functional once again, although that is a fairly recent thing. I have been writing some odds and ends. Mainly fiction and mainly for the entertainment of either the bullfrog or I. I have embarked on rather a long story that is proving entertaining but elusive.

In all, it's a moderate success, so I'll score it as 6.

So, in total, I am giving myself 32 points out of a possible 50. That's 64% or just short of a credit. Must work harder.