Some time ago I worked with a chap that was in the habit of advising me of the details of his bowel movements. He spoke with a rather posh British accent that I was reliably informed was a ‘Sandhurst accent’ and indeed he had been an officer in the British military. He sounded quite a lot like Trevor Bailey, the former English cricketer and sometime commentator.
On occasion, in this very proper accent, he would stand upright and loudly announce; “It’s time for my 2 o’clock poo!” He would then pivot in a military fashion and depart in the direction of the men’s room. On his return he would usually make some further comment, usually along the lines of everything having “come out splendidly” but occasionally a more graphic description of the process along the lines of “I’ve just passed a bowel movement the exact size and shape of a coconut. Extraordinary!”
