House

Some of you will already know that we moved recently.

Until about a month ago, the chikenz and I lived in Rozelle/Balmain. A lovely part of the world, with a surfeit of pubs that demanded my constant attention. We quite enjoyed living there, but decided that we had had enough of living in the suburbs and decided to move to the city. Really to the city.

Our new house is in a location such that if you dropped me onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge, from a low height and in such a way that I wasn't seriously injured, I could walk home in less than 10 minutes.

This being the case, we are having a housewarming party. Chances are that you have already been invited, but if you haven't there are four possible reasons.

1. I don't have your email address
2. You live in foreign parts of the world that would preclude your attendance.
3. I forgot.
4. I just don't like you.

So, if you haven't received an invite, why not send me an email and find out for certain which category applies to you.

And finally, a very very big chikenz thank-you to everyone who donated to the chikenz MS run. Each of you receive 37 chikenz points that can be redeemed for your favourite thing at that place over there. The chikenz is quite pleased, which means I'm quite pleased too. For the rest of you, it's not too late! Go visit the donating place and astonish us with your generosity.

Rabbits

I work in an office.

About 3-4 days per week I am based at the "home" office. Which is to say the office of the company I work for. On the other 1-2 days per week I am at a customer site providing wisdom and instruction in exchange for cash. Think of it as being my contribution to the greater good.

When I am at my home office, I have a cubicle of my very own. Like untold millions around the world, I am seated in an area that, if I were some sort of farm animal, would be considered cruel and inhumane. I am, I suppose, a battery worker.

One of the very few benefits of such an arrangement is that I am entertained by the day-to-day domestic situations of my colleagues. Over the past few weeks, an Iranian colleague who, for the purpose of this blog, I shall refer to as Darius, has been desperately attempting to secure accommodation. His current landlord has indicated a desire to relieve himself of the burden of having actual tenants and so my Iranian friend has been having hushed conversations with prospective landlords. Usually along the lines of, "yes, that's me well yes I am nah, that guy was just making trouble, so I said there's no way I'm paying and just told him to get stuffed."

Around this time the conversation become ever more distant as Darius makes his way from his cubicle to one of our meeting rooms. Some time later he will reappear and moodily hammer away at his keyboard for a time before announcing that "people just don't trust anybody any more" or some similar such observation based on man's inhumanity to man. Often vaguely related to the capricious nature of prospective landlords too.

Darius is often engaged in conversation at this point by another of my cubicle neighbours. This chap (I shall refer to him as Sunil) could be called a friend of Darius as they are often engaged in amiable chit-chat with each other and are given to taking lunch together. A sanguine yet laconic fellow, Sunil is given to making a small observation that a landlord must take care of his own interests and then listening sympathetically while Darius bemoans the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

The communication problem is sometimes compounded by the difficulty presented in having English is a second language, which is the case for both of them. Whilst I would not describe either as 'heavily accented', each of them has a distinct mode of speech. This sometimes leads to confusion.

Today, Darius returned from an errand and remarked that "Rabbit Photo is not at Macquarie any more." Macquarie being the local shopping centre you see.

"What is rapid photo?" asked Sunil with an idiosyncratic lateral head wobble.
"Not rapid, rabbit. It's rabbit photo" replied Darius
"There is a rabbit?"
"No. It's a photo place. You know, like one-hour photos."
"Ah! it's rapid."
"no. It's called Rabbit photos! RABBIT"
"So it's rapid rabbit photos." said Sunil, head wobbling all the more emphatically and clearly pleased with his his witty retort.
I couldn't resist.
"What are you talking about rapid photo?" I asked.
Darius was clearly frustrated. "It's not rapid, it RABBIT! You know R-A-B-I-T ... QUACK QUACK!!"

I can only presume that Iranian rabbits are rather more vocally skilled than Australian rabbits.

Today's chikenz-points go to the first person to spot the movie quote and name the movie.

That was it.

Some weeks ago, the Chikenz invested $6.00 with Foxtel in order to obtain 48 hours access to the, errm, documentary(?) "This is it" which allegedly features Michael Jackson. The Chikenz is quite fond of Michael Jackson and never tires of telling me how 'sugoi' he is.

I was in the same room as the Chikenz, reading 'Rogue Herries' by Hugh Walpole, so I was unable to avoid some degree of exposure to the documentary in question. I have some trouble labelling it as a documentary, because it seems to be more a collection of random footage taken while 'MJ' did rehearsals for what was to have been his final concert tour. As we know now, Michael Jackson was unable to complete that tour due to mobility issues. Death will do that to you.

Frankly though, I have grave reservations that he actually made it as far as "This is it" contends. Hence the 'allegedly' in the first paragraph.

It seems to me that the figure presented on my television, held out to be Michael Jackson, was a CGI. A rather poorly created one too. It looked rather like the folks that populate that movie with the blue people in it, but not quite so professionally done. In fact, as I watched further, it seemed increasingly unlikely that the figure held out to be Michael Jackson was actually a real person.

I came to suspect that Michael Jackson, shortly after the release of 'Thriller', decided that it was all a bit silly, that the joke had gone on long enough, and that he would retire to the magnificent seclusion of wherever it was he went. Meanwhile, a team of record company executives, realising that the gravy train had coagulated, decided to take matters into their own hands and started featuring a hologram of Michael Jackson in their video clips.

I further suspect that when they decided to age the hologram, they did so using a wiki method, whereby they could all have input. As wikis invariable do, this lead to a series of increasingly heated and obscure arguments that resulted in various  compromises  and an end product that was noticeably worse than it would have been had any one of the contributors been left to their individual devices.

And that was it.

Chikenz points today go to the first one to spot the tribute and name the source.

photos

Just on the basis that I haven't included any pictures for some time, here are a couple. You can see my entire photo stream at flickr if you are so inclined, but you'll either have to email me and ask for the address, or guess who I am on flickr.

The Chikenz is Running

On Sunday, 6th June, the Chikenz is running in the MS Funrun.

It's only 8km, so she'll barely be warmed up by the end, but she is very distressed at a lack of sponsorship. Her distress means that I suffer. So, you should all show your support by clicking on this link, taking out your credit card and making an enormous donation to a very worthy cause. Even if you don't feel that MS is a sufficiently worthy cause then I'm sure you'll agree that making my life just a little more bearable is a highly worthy cause.

I'll be writing about the event and slagging off at people who didn't sponsor her over the next few weeks.

Remember: pay early and pay often!