Regarding Satan’s Underpants

I recall, I would have been about 18 or 19, driving my brother to some place or another, being stopped at a traffic light and having my brother announce apropos of nothing much at all, that he knows a poem. My brother is 12 years younger than me, so he would have been only 6 or 7. At that age, I remember him as an intensely serious child, so when he said to me “I know a poem” I braced myself for all six stanza’s of John Donne’s A Nocturnal Upon S. Lucy's Day, Being the Shortest Day.

Instead what I got was the following little ditty. As you read it, you have to imagine it being recited, in monotone, by a rather small 6 year old boy who’s only facial expression is one of intense concentration as he works to recall the words.

In Allan’s Flat, in Allan’s flat

The play a game called spin the cat

But the cats all went to other places

So now they just have running races.

The last line was pronounced as if it were a conclusion derived after much consideration and a series of complex logical steps. It caused me a case of the giggles severe enough that I missed the traffic lights turning green and was only brought back by the honking of the car behind me. I told my brother it was a wonderful poem. He seemed pleased.

I suspect that the RSPCA or PETA or some such would have something to say about the poem these days, but it was a fine piece of doggerel and I'm sure my brother wasn't the only kid in the class to remember it.

It’s odd sometimes that way kids will interpret a piece of comedy. They seem to register that it’s funny, but don’t really react to the comedy itself. When you’re 5 or 6, comedy is someone falling over and making a funny face. Farts and poo are funny too. A clever use of words gets noted in a sort of rational way, but it’s a few years before it gets an actual laugh.

The Bullfrog, at nearly 3 years of age, has a finely developed sense of humour. About the funniest thing that can happen is for Daddy to push her on the swing in such a way that she can kick daddy on the return swing. Daddy makes exaggerated ouch noises and clutches at the kicked area before falling to the ground. The bullfrog laughs with sufficient hysterics that she is in actual danger of falling off the swing.

Along with this, as mentioned before, The Bullfrog finds poo very funny. Inserting the word into a known phrase or song is a guaranteed thigh-slapper. Mary had a Little Poo is a personal favourite, but The Grand Old Duke of Poo is right up there as well.

The Bullfrog also has my brother’s tendency to enjoy funny or clever use of words, but not to actually laugh at it. Case in point is her current karaoke favourite, a traditional Japanese children’s song called Oni no Pantsu (おにのパンツ). It’s sung to the tune of Funiculì, Funiculà and explains the benefits of the Oni’s underpants.

Oni is a stalwart of Japanese folklore and is usually translated to English as Demon. I consider that this gives me licence to translate it as Devil, which in turn lets me translate it as Satan, which, finally, lets me use the heading for this post that I have in fact used.

Oni are rather more like an ogre or goblin or troll than a demon. They are pretty unpleasant to look at, but their character seems more mischievous than genuinely evil.

An Oni fiercely pondering whether he is too drunk to stand up.

The song commends their loincloth (pantsu) as being practically indestructible. I’ve shown the words in Japanese and English below. The translation is my own, so it’s bound to be, at a minimum, slightly inaccurate. Each line is shown first in Japanese script, then with roman script for the Japanese, then translated into English. I’ve kept the English as a fairly literal translation.

鬼のパンツ

Oni no pantsu

Underpants of the Demon

鬼のパンツは　いいパンツ

Oni no pantsu wa ii pantsu

The underpants of the demon are good underpants.

つよいぞ　つよいぞ

Tsuyoi zo, Tsuyoi zo.

They’re so strong, they’re so strong.

トラの毛皮で　できている

tora no kegawa de dekite iru

They are made of tiger skin

つよいぞ　つよいぞ

Tsuyoi zo, Tsuyoi zo.

They’re so strong, they’re so strong.

５年はいても　やぶれない

go-nen haite mo yaburenai

After 5 years they are not torn

つよいぞ　つよいぞ

Tsuyoi zo, Tsuyoi zo.

They’re so strong, they’re so strong.

10年はいても　やぶれない

juu-nen haite mo yaburenai

After 10 years they are not torn

つよいぞ　つよいぞ

Tsuyoi zo, Tsuyoi zo.

They’re so strong, they’re so strong.

はこう　はこう　鬼のパンツ

Hakō, Hakō oni no pantsu

Let’s wear, let’s wear the demon’s underpants

はこう　はこう　鬼のパンツ

Hakō, Hakō oni no pantsu

Let’s wear, let’s wear the demon’s underpants

あなたも　私も　あなたも　私も

Anata mo, watashi mo, anata mo, watashi mo

And you, and me, and you, and me

みんなではこう　鬼のパンツ

Minna de hakō oni no pantsu

EVERYBODY let’s wear the demon’s underpants.

And, finally, here is Martha's version